Picture this: You're trying to have a quiet moment when your toddler suddenly lets out an ear-piercing screech that makes you jump. Or maybe they're in their high chair, banging their spoon while shrieking with delight.
Sound familiar?
If you're nodding along, you're definitely not alone. As a speech therapist and mom of three, I hear this concern from parents constantly.
The truth is, toddlers are naturally loud, with their screams, screeches, and yells – and there are actually some really good developmental reasons why. Understanding the "why" behind your little one's volume can help you feel less frustrated and more equipped to guide them toward better sound control.
The Science Behind Those Loud Little Sounds
They're Exploring Their Voice Toddlers are just discovering what their voice can do. They're experimenting with different sounds, volumes, and pitches, and yes, that includes those glass-shattering screeches. It's actually a normal part of vocal development, even if it drives us crazy.
Their Emotional Regulation Is Still Developing When toddlers feel excited, frustrated, or overwhelmed, their whole body responds, including their voice. They haven't yet learned to separate their emotional intensity from their vocal intensity. So when they're really excited about something, they naturally scream or shriek to match that big feeling.
They're Naturally Attention-Seeking Toddlers quickly learn that loud sounds get immediate attention. From a survival perspective, this makes perfect sense. A loud scream or screech ensures that caregivers respond quickly to their needs.
Limited Communication Skills Many toddlers aren't talking yet, so screaming and loud vocalizations become their primary way of communicating. They might screech when they're happy, yell when they're frustrated, or make loud sounds just to interact with you.
When Loud Becomes a Problem
While some loudness is completely normal, there are times when it becomes disruptive or concerning. You might notice it's becoming an issue when:
- Your toddler seems to default to screaming or screeching for most communication
- Loud behavior is disrupting family activities or outings regularly
- Other children or adults seem uncomfortable around your child's volume
- Your toddler appears to be using loudness primarily as attention-seeking behavior
What You Can Do
This is where my favorite teaching tool comes in – using animals to help toddlers understand and control their voice volume. This has been a game-changer for so many families, even with toddlers who aren't talking yet.
The Three Volume Levels:
- Loud like a lion – This is the big, roaring voice (or scream/screech)
- Quiet like a mouse – This is the soft, gentle voice or sound
- Whisper like a snake – This is the quietest voice with just a hiss
How to Teach It:
Start by introducing this activity when your toddler is calm and engaged (not in the middle of a screaming moment). Say something like, "Listen, I can be loud like a lion!" and model it for them. Don't hold back here: be loud and playful! Let your child join in and get as loud as they want. This is their chance to roar, scream, and screech to their heart's content.
Then contrast that with, "Listen, I'm quiet like a mouse. Squeak, squeak, squeak." Have your child mimic that with quieter sounds, and you can both pretend to be mice for a little while.
Finally, get even quieter and say, "Listen to me whisper like a snake." This creates a fun game with a clear purpose: increasing your toddler's awareness that sound levels exist and that we can control them.
Making It Stick:
You'll need to play this game several times before expecting your child to really get it. The key is consistency and practice when they're not already overwhelmed.
Don't forget to pull these terms into your everyday interactions. For example, "I'm whispering like a snake because baby sister is sleeping" shows real-world application and helps them understand when different volumes are appropriate.
Using It in Real Moments:
The next time your toddler is screeching or making loud sounds, you can say, "Whoa, you're being loud like a lion. Let's lower our voice like a mouse." This gives them a concrete, fun way to understand what you're asking for instead of just saying "be quiet."
Other Strategies
Model Appropriate Volume Children learn more from what we do than what we say. Make sure you're using appropriate sound levels throughout the day, and narrate when you're adjusting your volume.
Create "Loud Time" and "Quiet Time" Designate specific times and places where loud sounds are okay – like outside play time or during dance parties. This helps toddlers understand that loudness isn't always wrong, it's just about context.
Address the Root Cause If your toddler is using screaming to get attention, make sure you're giving them plenty of positive attention when they use quieter sounds or appropriate volume levels.
Be Patient with the Process Remember that learning sound control is a skill that takes time to develop. Celebrate small victories and be consistent with your approach.
The Bottom Line
Your toddler's screeching and loud sounds aren't a reflection of your parenting – they're a normal part of their development. By understanding why they naturally make loud sounds and giving them concrete tools like the animal voice technique, you're setting them up for success in learning this important skill.
The goal isn't to silence your child's natural enthusiasm and energy, but to help them learn when and how to use their voice appropriately. With patience, consistency, and the right tools, your little lion can learn to be a quiet mouse when the situation calls for it.
Remember, every child develops at their own pace. If you have ongoing concerns about your toddler's loud sounds or communication development, don't hesitate to reach out to a speech-language pathologist for additional support and guidance.
Ready for more? Learn the process behind my proven LITTLE TALKERS® Method so you know what your toddler wants and everyone feels less frustrated, join me for my free workshop, “Proven Method For Getting Your Toddler Talking”. I'll show you exactly why your toddler isn't talking yet and give you my proven 5-step roadmap for helping them meet their milestones from home. Click here to save your spot!
